When it comes to spreading joy There are many techniques Some spread joy to the world Others just spread cheeks Some may think the cardiologist Is their best friend But the colorectal surgeon knows He'll get you in the end
Why be a colorectal surgeon? It's one of those mysterious things Is it because, in that profession There are always openings? When I first met a colorectal surgeon He did not quite understand I said, "hey - it's nice to meet you But, do you mind if we don't shake hands?"
He sailed right through medical school Because he was a whiz But he never thought of psychology When he read "Passages" A doctor he wanted to be For golf he loved to play; But this is not quite what he meant By eighteen holes a day
Respect the colorectal surgeon Here and now we'll raise a glass For the rectal surgeon, like the rectum Can tell a liquid from a gas We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don't shine
I used to get a digital rectal exam every time I had an annual physical. Now they don't even do a PSA in the blood panels. I guess it's time for us geezers to die off.
I asked my PCP how they taught the finger exam in medical school. He told me when they did their clinical rotations, patients with prostate issues would volunteer to be digitized and by word of mouth the information was spread.
Anyone remember how on "Seinfeld", Kramer said that at a party you should always hang out with any proctologists because they always had the best stories? Personally, I'm not sure I want to hear those stories.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2gABYTmXos
ReplyDeleteThe Colorectal Surgeon Song (Working Where the Sun Don't Shine)
Words and Music © George Bowser and Rick Blue (Bowser and Blue) SOCAN
We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine
Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave
When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
Others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows
He'll get you in the end
Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things
Is it because, in that profession
There are always openings?
When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, "hey - it's nice to meet you
But, do you mind if we don't shake hands?"
He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
But he never thought of psychology
When he read "Passages"
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play;
But this is not quite what he meant
By eighteen holes a day
Respect the colorectal surgeon
Here and now we'll raise a glass
For the rectal surgeon, like the rectum
Can tell a liquid from a gas
We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine
To boldly go where— hopefully!— no man has gone before.
ReplyDeleteI used to get a digital rectal exam every time I had an annual physical. Now they don't even do a PSA in the blood panels. I guess it's time for us geezers to die off.
ReplyDelete@Ricky: I can remember when all PSA meant was Public Service Announcement. :)
ReplyDeleteNo blood screening, no finger wave. Now PSA means Palmetto State Armory to me.
ReplyDeleteI asked my PCP how they taught the finger exam in medical school. He told me when they did their clinical rotations, patients with prostate issues would volunteer to be digitized and by word of mouth the information was spread.
ReplyDeleteAll in the furtherance of science, I assume.
ReplyDeleteAnyone remember how on "Seinfeld", Kramer said that at a party you should always hang out with any proctologists because they always had the best stories? Personally, I'm not sure I want to hear those stories.