@M. If that stork gets ashes all over the parlor, Mother won't give him the back of her hand. She'll give him all of her fist. Oliver Fist. (I am so sorry for that)
A young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway. She said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would like to have them?"
"I'll ask her," the young man responded. He opened his door and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?"
"Hey," she retorted. "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going home to mother."
@Readers- Wow, fun to see the comments light up on this one!
@John Robert Mallernee- There's no significance to February here, other than that in my neck of the woods (North Texas) it could be either hot or cold so there's a variable chance of having a fire in the fireplace. But as far as the chimney reference goes, that's part of the whole stork mythos. A quick search on Google will bring up lots of old greeting cards showing storks dropping babies down the chimney.
"Grate Expectations".
ReplyDelete50/50 odds? Take the flue shot.
ReplyDelete@M Mitchell- or perhaps A Tale of Two Sooties?
ReplyDeleteBigger issue is that all the storks have migrated south for the Winter
ReplyDeleteStick a stork in him, he's done.
ReplyDeleteA swallow in May prevents a stork in February ;)
ReplyDeleteAm I missing something?
ReplyDeleteI knew that storks delivered babies, but I thought it was Santa Claus who came down the chimney.
And what does that have to do with February?
@Kent: The Picked Wick Papers? ;-)
ReplyDelete@M. If that stork gets ashes all over the parlor, Mother won't give him the back of her hand. She'll give him all of her fist.
ReplyDeleteOliver Fist.
(I am so sorry for that)
@Kent:
ReplyDeleteA young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway. She said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would like to have them?"
"I'll ask her," the young man responded. He opened his door and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?"
"Hey," she retorted. "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going home to mother."
* me, holding out my empty pun bowl with grubby dirt stained hands*
ReplyDelete"Please kind sir, may I 'ave another?"
@Readers- Wow, fun to see the comments light up on this one!
ReplyDelete@John Robert Mallernee- There's no significance to February here, other than that in my neck of the woods (North Texas) it could be either hot or cold so there's a variable chance of having a fire in the fireplace. But as far as the chimney reference goes, that's part of the whole stork mythos. A quick search on Google will bring up lots of old greeting cards showing storks dropping babies down the chimney.
ReplyDeleteThat baby is probably wishing for a stork that leans toward the old "under a cabbage leaf" myth rather than the "chimney" myth.