I've found lawyers to be a necessary evil. It's nice to have a good last will and testament in place, for instance. Then there are those who attempt to extract half a billion dollars from a defendant who has committed no crime. Sorry Stilton.....'nuff said.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a carp? One's an ugly slimy scaly bottom feeder... the other's a fish. What's brown and black and looks good on an attorney? A Doberman! What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality. Why is it illegal for a lawyer to have sex with his client? So he isn't tempted to double-bill for the same service. A blind rabbit and a blind snake were traveling across the desert and ran into each other. They move over to continue and boom, ran into each other again. They both move again and boom, hit each other once more. The rabbit said "Who's there?" and the snake said "I'm blind... I don't know who I am. Who's THERE". The rabbit said "I don't know who I am, I'm blind too." The snake said "why don't we check each other out, and then we'll at least know who we are." The rabbit said "Ok" and the snake coiled around the rabbit and began to squeeze, while the rabbit went pat, pat, pat and began to check out the snake. The snake uncoiled and backed up. He said "You are a fluffy thing with a twitchy nose, long floppy feet, buck teeth and long ears, you must be a bunny." The rabbit said "You have scaly skin, beady eyes, and a forked tongue, you must be an attorney."
Deputy " Sheriff the bus that went over the cliff was full of lawyers. Send out a buldozer so we can bury them".
ReplyDeleteSheriff " You sure they is awl dead?"
Deputy " Well some of them says they ain't. But you know how them lawyers lie"
@Onwun
ReplyDeleteSheriff: Well, let's make sure they're all dead first.
Deputy: Be right back … *bang* … Yep, they are now.
[seventh-oldest joke I can remember]
I don't usually laugh but I do get 'happy feet' :)
ReplyDeleteas in:
"There may come a day I will dance on your grave
Unable to dance, I will crawl across it
Unable to dance, I'll still crawl
Unable to dance I'll crawl"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps_aB3ZrTV4
I've found lawyers to be a necessary evil. It's nice to have a good last will and testament in place, for instance. Then there are those who attempt to extract half a billion dollars from a defendant who has committed no crime. Sorry Stilton.....'nuff said.
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteEveryone hates the lawyers, right up until they need one.
ReplyDeleteI've found that the people who hate lawyers the worst...
ReplyDeleteAre other lawyers.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a carp? One's an ugly slimy scaly bottom feeder... the other's a fish.
ReplyDeleteWhat's brown and black and looks good on an attorney? A Doberman!
What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.
Why is it illegal for a lawyer to have sex with his client? So he isn't tempted to double-bill for the same service.
A blind rabbit and a blind snake were traveling across the desert and ran into each other. They move over to continue and boom, ran into each other again. They both move again and boom, hit each other once more. The rabbit said "Who's there?" and the snake said "I'm blind... I don't know who I am. Who's THERE". The rabbit said "I don't know who I am, I'm blind too." The snake said "why don't we check each other out, and then we'll at least know who we are." The rabbit said "Ok" and the snake coiled around the rabbit and began to squeeze, while the rabbit went pat, pat, pat and began to check out the snake. The snake uncoiled and backed up. He said "You are a fluffy thing with a twitchy nose, long floppy feet, buck teeth and long ears, you must be a bunny." The rabbit said "You have scaly skin, beady eyes, and a forked tongue, you must be an attorney."