July 4th - Birthday Present for America!

What better way to celebrate the 4th of July than with a red, white, and blue book that's free? To celebrate the release of Johnny Optimism's second mega-collection, I'm giving the Kindle version away absolutely free on Friday July 3, Saturday July 4, and Sunday July 5th.

Note: before ordering, be sure the price shows as free (and not just "free for Kindle Unlimited")! Prices change at midnight, and it might take an hour or so more for the $0.00 price to show up.

You can read this immense treasury of humor on any computer, smartphone, or tablet - just download the appropriate free Kindle reading app from Amazon at this link. And reading on even a small device doesn't stink, because I fiddled around with the book's code to embed an "easy reading" mode: just turn your device sideways, tap on any page, and you'll suddenly see just one cartoon at a time at a size which won't make you go blind! Tap on the right to go to the next cartoon, or tap on the left to go backwards.

There's also a beautiful paperback edition available for just $5.99 with free Prime shipping. No respectable bathroom, coffee table, or doctor's waiting room should be without it! (And Volume One is still available too, at $5.99 for either the print or Kindle version)

A Special Favor: after downloading the book, I'd really appreciate any reviews you'd care to post on Amazon. Amazon promotes (or demotes) books based on their popularity and reviews, so it really makes a huge difference. And reviews can be short and sweet - just a sentence or two! But please don't mention politics in your reviews - Johnny's got enough problems already!

Please feel free to share this link to the free Kindle book with family, friends, on social media, or with whomever is in the hospital bed next to yours - but remember, this 4th of July freebie is only available Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!

FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST!

Democrats, when not busily impeaching the President for being successful and patriotic, like to promise "free" goodies in exchange for votes. Of course, those goodies are never actually free, and usually don't even happen. Which is why we're going to show them how it's done...

Yes, everyone's favorite sick-but-lovable webcomic about a boy, his dog, and the general hellishness of Life is now in book form and, like Johnny approaching a steep wheelchair ramp, we want to give it a really good push to get started. That's why we're giving it away free as our gift to you, our favorite people on Earth. You can download the ebook from Amazon absolutely free (by clicking on this link) between 12/18 and 12/22. (Please check to make SURE that the actual price has dropped to $0.00, and not just $0 if you belong to Kindle Unlimited. Also, you DO NOT NEED to join Kindle Unlimited to get the book free - so don't do that!)

The ebook can be read on any computer, smartphone, or tablet using the free Kindle Reader app from Amazon. And the book has been specially optimized to look great, even on a dinky little phone, if you know this trick: turn your phone sideways, then double-tap on a cartoon. This will make the cartoon full-screen, after which a simple tap or finger stroke on the cartoon will automatically advance you to the next rib-tickler!

There's also a genuinely lovely paperback version of Johnny's book, which we're temporarily offering for $5.99 (pretty much the lowest price Amazon will let us charge, and free shipping with Prime). The paperback is perfect for bathroom reading, "accidentally" leaving behind in doctors' waiting rooms, holiday gift-giving, or a "get well" gift for anyone who you're not fully committed to seeing get well.

But wait! There's more! We're going to take every cent of profit from the paperback (during the dates shown), double it, then donate it to a children's charity. And how do you know we'll really do that? Because we're not thieving liars who steal from charity like the Clintons!

AND NOW, WE'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR... Amazon markets books based on how popular they are and how many reviews they get online. So after you've downloaded the book, please consider leaving an honest Amazon review. And if you do, please don't mention politics because Johnny has enough problems already without being labeled a Nazi.

Enjoy the book, and feel free to share the link with others! After all, it's the season of giving!