Wednesday, April 9, 2014


johnny optimism, medical, humor, cartoon, sick, jokes, doctor, stilton jarlsberg, hospital, check up, pediatrician, bagpipes, kilt


It'sNo Gouda said...

I think I'd "scotch" that doc's opinion

TrickyRicky said...

On the plus side, Johnny does have a brave heart.

Stan da Man said...

Not that we're skirting the issue here...

John Robert Mallernee said...

Dr. Jarlsberg, Et Alii:

Did you know that this past Sunday 06 April 2014 was NATIONAL TARTAN DAY, commemorating the signing of the "DECLARATION OF ARBROATH" in Arbroath, Scotland on 06 April 1320?

You don't have to be Scottish to wear a tartan kilt and plaid, complete with full Highland regalia, for there are MANY authorized tartan designs.

Each of our military services has its own tartan, as does police and firefighters.

There are national tartans for Scotland, Canada, the United States of America, and the Confederate States of America.

Also, each of our states has been authorized their own tartan.

Thus, even if you have NO actual Scottish heritage (which in America, would be exceedingly RARE, due to Scottish immigration and influence throughout our history), if you desire to wear a kilt (and what REAL macho savage doesn't?), there are a wide variety of options for anyone desiring to wear a kilt.

Oh, by the way, the kilt was actually invented by Norwegians, who brought it to Scotland from Norwegia.

John Robert Mallernee
Clan Henderson

"Sola Virtus Nobilitat"

John Robert Mallernee said...

Dr. Jarlsberg:

Have you been to my own personal web site, "OUR ETERNAL STRUGGLE"?

At my web site, I regularly feature the "JOHNNY OPTIMISM" comic strip, with this explanation - - - :

(In all places where your name or your web site are mentioned, I provide an automatic Internet hyperlink to you and your web site.)

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Oh, but the good doctor has done gone and did it AnotherGAIN ! ! !

Here is the hilarious "JOHNNY OPTIMISM" comic strip, created by Stilton Jarlsberg, M.D., for Wednesday 09 April 2014 - - - ,


(CAPTION In Small Fonts)
For a larger view that's easier to read, please click on the comic strip

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stranger." (Linked to your web site)


Oh, what a bodacious zinger THAT was!

Is Dr. Jarlsberg REALLY going to get away with posting that one?

Do you see why this is one of my favorite comic strips?

The "JOHNNY OPTIMISM" comic strip, which is drawn by Stilton Jarlsberg, M.D., appears on the computer Internet each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Please be sure and visit the "JOHNNY OPTIMISM" web site in order to enjoy reading the assorted amusing comments posted by fans and/or detractors.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee
Armed Forces Retirement Home
1800 Beach Drive, Unit 311
Gulfport, Mississippi 39507


I keep that exact same format for publishing each of your comic strips, changing only the date.

I don't publish every "JOHNNY OPTIMISM" comic strip, but only the ones which I consider the most hilarious, AND clean enough to be "Family Friendly".

I also like the jokes to be realistic, and even possibly happening, which is why I don't bother publishing the ones with a kid living in a water tank.

John Robert Mallernee said...

Do you know why there are no Walmart stores in Israel or Afghanistan?

There's too many Targets!

John Robert Mallernee said...

Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy, but I am looking forward to this evening!

A farmer is bringing his dog to visit us.

I know this because, at this retirement home, there is a sign posted in the hallway downstairs that says,


There was a farmer
Had a dog
And Bingo
Was his name,




And Bingo
Was his name,

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@It's No Gouda- Actually, I "scotch" most doctor's opinions.

@TrickyRicky- Somewhere, Mel Gibson is smiling...

@Stan da Man- You're right, it's really an issue we should a dress.

@John Robert Mallernee- Thanks for the interesting information! I have been to your site, and knew that you're no stranger to kilts, so I was looking forward to you seeing today's cartoon.

As far as the cartoons you share (which I always appreciate!), I'd be the first to admit that some of them aren't quite family friendly, and others are pretty far out into "twilight zone" territory. Which isn't really my goal - but the cartoons usually just sort of present themselves to me and I write them down like a stenographer.

Still, I think most of them aren't too offensive. Well, as long as Tickles the Clown isn't in them.

And regarding the "Target" joke - ouch! (grin)

John Robert Mallernee said...


Well, a Scotsman
Clad in kilt
Left a bar
One evening fair,
And one could tell
By how he walked,
That he'd drunk
More than his share.
He fumbled 'round
Until he could
No longer keep his feet,
And he stumbled off
Into the grass to sleep
Beside the street.

About that time,
Two young and lovely girls
Just happend by.
One says to the other,
With a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman,
So strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true
What they don't wear
Beneath the kilt!"

They crept up on
That sleeping Scotsman,
Quiet as could be;
Lifted up his kilt
About an inch,
So that they could see.
And there, behold,
For them to view
Beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' more
Than God had graced
Him with, upon his birth.

They marvelled for a moment,
Then one said:
"We must be gone.
Let's leave a present
For our friend
Before we move along."
As a gift, they left
A blue silk ribbon
Tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star,
The Scotsman's kilt
Did lift and show.

Now, the Scotsman woke
To nature's call,
And stumbled
Towards the trees.
Behind the bush,
He lifts his kilt,
And gawks at
What he sees.
And in a startled
Voice, he says,
To what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad, I don't know
Where ye been,
But I see ye
Won first prize!"


John Robert Mallernee said...


First, there were the Scots,
Who kept the Sabbath,
And everything else
They could get their hands on.

Then, there were the Welsh,
Who prayed on their knees,
And preyed on their neighbors.

Also, there were the Irish,
Who didn't know what they wanted,
But, were ready to fight
For it anyway.

Finally, there were the English,
Who consider themselves
A self-made people,
Thus, relieving the Almighty
Of a dreadful responsibility!