Luckier

 Happy New Year from Johnny, Lance, and the Jarlsberg Family!

Cellos

Free

Christmas 2022

 

As has become a tradition, this cartoon is our Merry Christmas wish to all from Johnny, Lance, and the Jarlsberg family. Thank you for your friendship and support throughout the year!

Huge

Tree

 

Just in the Saint Nick of Time (Free Book #2)

 

If it's true that it's better to give than receive, that laughter is the best medicine, and that the best things in life are free, I'm knocking it out of the park by giving away the ebook version of Johnny Optimism's newly-released book "Home for the Horrid Days."

For three days only (Friday 12/16 - Sunday 12/18) you can download the book at this link to read on any computer, tablet, or phone using a free Kindle Reader app available here. 

Note: before ordering, be sure the price shows as free (and not just "Read for Free" with Kindle Unlimited)! Instead, you want to buy the book for $0.00.

Amazingly, reading a cartoon book on a smartphone is a perfectly pleasant experience because I fiddled around with the book's code to enable an "easy reading" mode: just turn your device sideways, tap on any page, and you'll suddenly see just one cartoon at a time at a size that won't make you go blind! Tap on the right to go to the next cartoon, or tap on the left to go backward.

There's also a beautiful paperback edition of this Holiday collection available for a ridiculous $3.59 with free Prime shipping. That means you're just a mouse-click away from being able to send a wonderful (and memorable) gift to family and friends for about the price of a big Hallmark card with glitter on it. And frankly, the recipients won't get as much quality bathroom reading time out of a Hallmark card, nor will they accidentally sprinkle glitter on their private regions. A phrase that I may turn into a Christmas song at some point.

Please feel free to share this link to the free Kindle book with family, friends, on social media, or with whoever is in the hospital bed next to yours. But remember to tell them to act fast, because the ebook is only free Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (12/16-12/18).

A Special Favor: after downloading the book, I'd really appreciate any reviews you'd care to post on Amazon. Amazon promotes (or demotes) books based on their popularity and reviews, so it really makes a huge difference. And reviews can be short and sweet - just a sentence or two! But please don't mention politics in your reviews - Johnny's got enough problems already!

Twas

Like

 

None

Secret

 

Dose

 

Fraternity

 

Birthday

Today is a rough one, friends. 

Loaded

Overfeed

Surprise

 

Save

Toot Not-So-Sweet

D'OH!!! Because my mind currently looks like something forgotten and mold-covered in the back of a refrigerator drawer, I just plain forgot to post Johnny cartoons for this past week! For the record, I do a week at a time so I only have to screw up once to make three mistakes. It's a little thing I like to call "efficiency."

Anyway, I'm fine outside of having the stupids and will be posting regularly this next week! -Stilton

Relish

OCD

Changing

Pile

Cage

For anyone who isn't a music nerd, here's a Youtube performance of the famous work. 

Spider

HAPPY HALLOWEEN from Johnny, Lance, and the Jarlsberg Family!

Laughing

 

High

Goodness

Corn

Quite

X

Come at me, Will Smith! I dare you!

Model

Learning

Happy

Beauty

 

Cultural

Glitters

South

Banzai

For those experiencing a sense of deja vu, I originally ran this cartoon about nine years ago but blew the joke by correctly spelling "bonsai" (the tree) instead of "banzai" (the Japanese attack cry). I'm finally correcting it so I can sleep at night.

Online

I really am beginning an online stand-up comedy course today, for reasons which are somewhat murky even to me. If anyone else in the class is in a wheelchair, I'll give them this joke for free.

Nicely

Creepy

Effects

A little backstory here; I visited one of the many websites that now let people use Artificial Intelligence to create artworks. I gave the online program a picture of Johnny and said to make a photo-realistic version. The result was hallucinatory enough that I had to share it.

Turtle

Blink

Tested

Finished

Sound