False Alarm

Upbeat

Ate

Christmas 2013

Pom Pom

Song

Ornaments

Fits

Bob

Greatest

Apron

License

Grass

Singing

Pick

Sauce

Hate

Send

Dustbuster

Turn

Phantom

Okra

Hot Air

Custom

Bonus Cartoon: WHAT THE HELL?!

Readers- Many of you asked what the punchline of Wednesday's cartoon was supposed to mean, and I'm both embarrassed and somewhat amused to admit that I have no idea whatsoever. It's possible that I was under the influence of strong medication at the time, which might have additionally been served in a dirty glass.

So just for fun, here's the same cartoon setup - but now with three different "final panels" to see if ANY of them makes for a better (or at least marginally more intelligible) gag than the original!  I look forward to reading your comments while dabbing this egg off my face. -Stilton

Surrounded

Heaven

Readers- On Saturday, we lost our beloved dog Maggie to heart disease. She was a stray who adopted us, gave us 10 puppies only days later (all of whom were adopted into good homes), and who gave us many years of love and happiness. She is missed tremendously...and if she is in Heaven, things have just gotten a lot noisier for any angels who arrived in the Hereafter still wearing their Earthly UPS uniforms. -Stilton

EXCLUSIVE: Actual picture of Maggie guarding the Pearly Gates

High Powered

Oops- I was a little late posting today. Sorry about that!

Harry

Eyelashes

Burns

Lead

Postcard

Forgive

Spreading

Never

Look

Else

Parakeet

Shadow

Plaque

Make

Festivity

Opa!

Jacuzzi

Phonebook

Ketchup

Tree

Condolences