Wednesday, December 18, 2019

FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST!

Democrats, when not busily impeaching the President for being successful and patriotic, like to promise "free" goodies in exchange for votes. Of course, those goodies are never actually free, and usually don't even happen. Which is why we're going to show them how it's done...

johnny optimism, stiltons place, hope n' change, free book, amazon

Yes, everyone's favorite sick-but-lovable webcomic about a boy, his dog, and the general hellishness of Life is now in book form and, like Johnny approaching a steep wheelchair ramp, we want to give it a really good push to get started. That's why we're giving it away free as our gift to you, our favorite people on Earth. You can download the ebook from Amazon absolutely free (by clicking on this link) between 12/18 and 12/22. (Please check to make SURE that the actual price has dropped to $0.00, and not just $0 if you belong to Kindle Unlimited. Also, you DO NOT NEED to join Kindle Unlimited to get the book free - so don't do that!)

The ebook can be read on any computer, smartphone, or tablet using the free Kindle Reader app from Amazon. And the book has been specially optimized to look great, even on a dinky little phone, if you know this trick: turn your phone sideways, then double-tap on a cartoon. This will make the cartoon full-screen, after which a simple tap or finger stroke on the cartoon will automatically advance you to the next rib-tickler!

johnny optimism, stiltons place, hope n' change, free book, amazon
There's also a genuinely lovely paperback version of Johnny's book, which we're temporarily offering for $5.99 (pretty much the lowest price Amazon will let us charge, and free shipping with Prime). The paperback is perfect for bathroom reading, "accidentally" leaving behind in doctors' waiting rooms, holiday gift-giving, or a "get well" gift for anyone who you're not fully committed to seeing get well.

But wait! There's more! We're going to take every cent of profit from the paperback (during the dates shown), double it, then donate it to a children's charity. And how do you know we'll really do that? Because we're not thieving liars who steal from charity like the Clintons!

AND NOW, WE'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR... Amazon markets books based on how popular they are and how many reviews they get online. So after you've downloaded the book, please consider leaving an honest Amazon review. And if you do, please don't mention politics because Johnny has enough problems already without being labeled a Nazi.

Enjoy the book, and feel free to share the link with others! After all, it's the season of giving!

8 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Five stars and a tiger! Well, a small kitteh or two.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Left my comments under :Joe Cool”. Thanks for the freebie, Stilt and a tip of the Clan McGreggor to you!

Ian said...

Fantastic, Dr. J.! Thunderous applause from an ecstatic public!
On a side note, to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of Kindle Unlimited, instead of clicking on "Read for Free", the savvy buyer should click on "Buy now" (or something like that, depending on their Amazon account configuration), after making sure that the price is indeed zero.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS, in Vernal, Utah said...

I just now obtained the free KINDLE version of the "JOHNNY OPTIMISM" comic book, plus I ordered the paperback version, and I left my "FIVE STAR" customer comment.

TrickyRicky said...

I'll be purchasing the print version, since I've never gone Kindle. Thanks for compiling the many fine cartoons for us and making a donation to charity in the bargain!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Thank you, sir!

@Bobo the Hobo- Excellent! And I'm presently about 38 minutes away from Clan MacGregor time...

@Ian- Right you are; the idea is to click the "Buy It Now" button (after checking for the $0 price). Amazon deliberately makes it a little confusing.

@John Robert Mallernee- Many thanks, my friend! The Johnny paperback really does have a nice look and a good feel in the hand. I'm rather proud of it!

@TrickyRicky- You don't exactly have to "go Kindle" to use the ebook. The link in the text above will let you download the free Kindle reader app for pretty much any computer, tablet, smartphone, or operating system. My "test of concept" was seeing if I could make the ebook look good on my $25 android smartphone - and it works!

Drew458 said...

Hey, I even pimped your book on my blog. Hope that helps even more than my 5* review.

It's only fair since I've been posting your strips every once in a while for years.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Drew458- Much appreciated! And feel free to keep sharing the strips - that's why I make them! (Well, that and my psychological demons...)